Hearts Full of Gratitude

Coming Out of the Woodwork

I have often wondered if the friendships that I have made throughout my life are meaningful or frivolous. Not because the friends that I have are frivolous but because I have not put enough effort into cultivating those relationships. We've all experienced it. You make a friend, spend some good times together and have some very meaningful conversations over a period of time, then you are distanced from one another either physically or circumstantially. Ten years down the road you think of this person and wonder if you should get in touch with them. Do they even remember you? Were you meaningful to them? Did you have something of value to offer them at the time? Was it enough that they still think of you and wonder how you're doing? Maybe it is just me that thinks of those things but it happens quite often. Or at least it used to....

Ever since we found out that Archer was diagnosed with Hepatoblastoma, we have received an overwhelming amount of support. I've mentioned this before and it may seem like it is just a typical way for me to express myself. It isn't. I don't get overwhelmed. That is something of which I am actually very proud. Or at least I used to be....

The reason I say it is "overwhelming" is...well, because it is. People have done so much for us lately and continue to ask what more can be done. You would think that people eventually run out of steam from service but I can tell you, they don't. At least not the people that we know. We really wish that we could list off everything that has been done for us and everyone that has done it. However, that would take me an incredibly long time and, for the sake of anonymity, I will refrain.

Fundraisers

There have been a lot of people who have organized and conducted fundraisers for little Archer. My family collecting money at a mountain man rendezvous, a friend setting up a GoFundMe account, cousins organizing a 5K, quilt raffle, bake sale, yard sale and donating all profits for a day from their tire/lube shop, another friend designing and selling t-shirts, and even a BYU Entrepreneurship group who saw Archer's picture on GoFundMe.

There are also still fundraisers that have been organized that haven't happened yet, including a quilt raffle (it is currently ongoing) at Jaker's Pumpkin Patch in Springville tomorrow night and Monday and a LuLaRoe skirt/dress party on November 8. 

Acts of Service

This could get hairy. There have been so many acts of service that I will never be able to list them all so I will have to generalize a bit. We have had a bunch of meals provided, rides to and from the hospital, babysitting, gifts of all sorts, a secret admirer that drops things off at Aubrey's parent's house, donations galore, people bringing us weeks worth of frozen meals and groceries, people reaching out to express their love and support and countless prayers on our behalf.

The Mushy Stuff

Aubrey and I have shown a lot of emotion lately, no matter how much we have tried to hide it. We have shed many tears. Tears of sadness, tears of fear, tears of joy, tears of gratitude and tears of love. Love for all of you. Love for you because you have taken your turns, carrying us on your backs though this dark forest of an unknown future. We could not do this without you. We love you all dearly and we pray for you constantly, as you pray for us. Words cannot begin to describe how grateful we are to you and how much your love and support mean to us, though I hope this gives you a sliver of an idea. Thank you!

A Long Time Coming

An Abundance of Joy

Let's get this off the table first, as I know this is what is at the forefront of most of our minds: How is Archer doing? I am so thrilled to tell you that he is doing remarkably well! Ever since he recovered from not being able to keep any food down for more than 20 minutes, he has gained about four pounds (five pounds in less than two weeks but he has since lost a pound) and he is no longer on the IV feeding pumps so he doesn't have to tell you to grab his backpack whenever he wants to go more than a few feet. Now instead of running around yelling "backpack" he runs around and just screams "Fun! Fun! Fun!" His personality has really come out lately as well. He is such a sweet little kid and has such a great sense of humor. He has so much energy and has been feeling so good lately that it is hard to believe he is fighting cancer and going through chemotherapy.

In the picture to the right, Archer pulled off his socks and said, "Eww! Gross!" And then started sniffing his feet. After he smelled them he said, "stinky stinky!"

He keeps us and pretty much everyone around him cracking up all the time but he has been especially silly lately. He likes to say his name in a deep, raspy tone (I may have taught him that) but the other day when my parents (Grandma Jackie and Grandpa Shayne) watched him, he refused to answer to Archer. He insisted that they call him Frank and he made sure and pound that idea home by saying "Frank" in his deep, raspy tone whenever they would call him Archer. He hasn't said anything like it since and I have no idea where that came from and why.

The Foreseeable Future

Archer's first week free of hospital visits is this next week and we are looking forward to it dearly! It just so happens to be my Fall Break from school and also Kaesia's Fall Break from preschool. We are looking forward to being able to spend some time together as a family and not have to worry about sleeping on a hospital couch, not seeing each other for a few days, or having to drive to Salt Lake. After this week off, Archer has two weeks of chemo then a week of recovery before testing and surgery. The surgery to resect the tumor on his liver is scheduled for November 13. The surgery will be quite extensive and he will need to be hospitalized for 7-10 days following the procedure. There is a lot that can go wrong but we do have one of the world's leading surgeons as his doctor. Prayers for a good procedure and quick recovery definitely would not hurt, however. After he is released from the hospital, it will be another week or two before they start his post-operation chemo treatments.

A Fun Tidbit

Kaesia started preschool just a couple of weeks ago and is so excited about it. She loves packing around her Minnie Mouse backpack and lunch bag (still attached and with the tags on because Kaesia "want[s] it to stay new") even though it has nothing in it. She has learned a bunch already and loves learning more each time she is able to go. It is really good for her to go and interact with so many other kids and learn so much. 

A Post of It's Own

I really wanted to mention so much of the support that we have received over the past several weeks but don't feel like it would be nearly adequate to just tack on in another post. I am going to post again tomorrow and focus on highlighting all of the different things that people have done to help out. So...WATCH FOR IT!

An Emotional Roller Coaster

Please, Stop the Vomit! 

Wow. What a crazy week and a half since my last post. After Archer's third chemo treatment, he was doing pretty well, though because he was still throwing up, he had to come home on TPN (which is basically a liquid form of nourishment with proteins, calories, carbohydrates and added vitamins) along with a bag of lipids (the medical form of Crisco). He packs the bags and pumps around in a backpack that is as large as he is. Though he can't carry the backpack on his own, he does enjoy dragging it behind him. If you can see past the situation for a second, it is quite adorable!

What Break?

We were home for almost four days and looking forward to another week being away from the hospital, when Archer contracted a fever and we had to take him to the ER. Aubrey had been up all night giving him medicine every 3 hours and taking his temperature so I took him to UVRMC ER at 7:30 in the morning on Sunday while Aubrey and Kaesia slept. As soon as we were put in a room, Archer said he wanted to watch football. I was okay with that! They ran a bunch of tests and found out that he had Enterovirus and had to be admitted at PCMC for a couple days. We had promised Kaesia that we were going to play with her all week since it was Archer's week off from chemo. She was heartbroken when Aubrey left her and she had to be peeled off her leg, screaming and crying. It was terrible! Archer was also elated to leave UVRMC so you can imagine the devastation when we got to Primary Children's. His first two words upon arrival were "fish" and "pizza" so we let him drown his sorrows in an ocean of fish and cheesy, round bliss.

Aubrey and Archer spent the next couple of days in the hospital while Kaesia and I tried to manage without them. She was babysat a lot while I went to work and school so I promised her that Monday night, we would go on a date. We ended up going to feed the ducks and she was ecstatic. It was so good to see her having so much fun! 

Home, Sweet Home

Archer was discharged early Tuesday evening after having his week 4 tests (chest x-ray, ultrasound, audiogram, blood tests, etc.). He was so excited to come home! He has been running around (which makes it hard to keep up with him with all the tubes and pumps), talking up a storm and being quite the little jokester. He hasn't thrown up consistently for several days now and is generally feeling quite well. 

The Hard Part

Though things are going well right now, this last week and a half has been astonishingly difficult the majority of the time. Archer has been throwing up, attached to tubes 24/7 with his port accessed and having to take medicine every three hours to try and stop him from throwing up. Aubrey has been catching throw up, spending day and night at the hospital, feeling like a terrible mother because she goes days without seeing Kaesia and being overwhelmed by the constant attention that Archer requires. Kaesia has been having fun with the family that is babysitting her but has a hard time sleeping away from home and all she wants is for all of us to be together at home. 

Work and school is always busy but this past week, I had to have surgery to remove a pre-cancerous tumor that was found on my leg last month during my annual cancer checkup. I was expecting an excision site of about an inch or maybe two inches in length but it ended up being just over four inches long, an inch wide and about an inch and a half deep. This made it so I could barely walk for three or four days, making it even more difficult for Aubrey. 

There have been more times than I can count this week where we felt like we weren't going to be able to make it through the day. As Aubrey's mom pointed out, we were a pretty pathetic bunch with Archer attached to hoses, me not being able to walk, Kaesia looking like a homeless child because she hadn't bathed for a couple days and Aubrey wearing Scotch tape glasses from Archer's latest attempt at wearing them. 

There Is A Bright Side

Through all of this, we've had those redeeming moments that refresh our minds and help us pull through. Seeing Archer throw his hands up in the air and shout "Yay" in his most nasally voice whenever he gets to come home. Watching Kaesia chase a swarm of over 20 ducks, hurling stale bread at them and wondering why they don't just flock toward her. It is moments like that which make this bearable.

A bit of light shining through the cloud cover is that Archer's tests all came back great. The tumor in his liver has reduced almost 20% in size, his hearing is still at 100% and his counts are all great. And even though he has enterovirus, he has only had a minor fever, slight cough and stuffy nose. And according to the doctors, his hair should have fallen out by now. He may be one of VERY few that doesn't lose it after all.

Stormy Seas

Treatment #2

It all started with treatment #2. Archer was admitted on Tuesday (9/2) to undergo his second round of chemotherapy. Upon admittance, the decision was made to only give him one type of antiemetic, rather than the three that they alternated with the week prior. A short ways into the treatments, Archer started vomiting. At this point, they switched to alternating the three different antiemetics, but the damage had already been done. The doctor told us the week prior that once he starts throwing up, it is very difficult to stop it from happening so prevention is the key. Well, she was right. 

At work on Wednesday I got a phone call from Aubrey. She was in tears. She was frustrated that the nursing staff didn't give him the proper medications to begin with to prevent him from vomiting and that one of the techs lost her patience with Archer while trying to get his vitals. Aubrey told her to wait ten minutes until he calmed down from his tantrum. They had just given him some oral medication that he detests. She insisted on getting it right then and ended up forcing the various instruments on him and getting an inaccurate result, all the while telling him to calm down in a harsh tone. It didn't make matters better. 

Discharge and More Discharge

On Thursday, we were discharged from the hospital. He came home vomiting but happy to be out of the hospital. He kept little down on Thursday and on Friday, he got worse. Aubrey called PCH and spoke with the Fellow (Allison Ast) that we have been working with. She suggested a clear liquids only diet for 24 hours and instructed Aubrey to call her back if it was still happening at that time. She also prescribed Benedryl to be taken in addition to the Zofran that he already was. Several baths, dirty towels and a lot of cleanup later, we let Allison know that it was still happening. 

He needed antiemetics to keep from throwing up but everything we gave him, including the medications, was being thrown up within 10 to 15 minutes. She suggested giving him small amounts of liquid through a syringe every few minutes and if he hadn't had at least 2 more wet diapers by the evening, we needed to call and readmit him for rehydration. As you can probably guess, we ended up having to admit him. 

The Longest Night

We got to the ER at PCH just before 11. Apparently they were very busy and it took what felt like an eternity to get him in a room and start fluids. His blood sugar was low so they administered Dextrose along with the fluids. After a few hours hanging out there, we were admitted to our room a little after 5am. They had made a bed for us, which just seemed to taunt us as we still had to go over a few things before collapsing onto it. We finally got to bed around 6am, but I wasn't able to get much sleep. In fact, that is why I'm writing this.

Iced Cake

One of the things that made this week so difficult is that I am back in school now so I have been little help to Aubrey. She has been remarkable through all of this! I always knew that she was amazing but I had no idea she was this amazing. She has remained so positive and collected through all of this, even when a lot of the time, she has to handle it all on her own.

I have gone to school full time and worked full time for four and a half years now. It has been challenging but never really overwhelming. However, this semester (thankfully my last) has indeed been overwhelming. I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep in a day for over two weeks. Most of time it's around 3.  I feel guilty that I am always gone when Aubrey, Archer and Kaesia are going through all of this at home and at the hospital. It is difficult to focus on anything for an extended period of time. And I feel like I am losing control of this well-oiled machine that we had tuned to near perfection. 

A Child's Outlook

Archer is the most good natured child I have ever seen in my life. I may be biased, I realize this. However, Friday, after throwing up 5 times within an hour, he smiled for Aubrey as she took his picture. He has been out of this world sick for the last few days and he has never cried. He is such an incredible example of patience!

We have missed Kaesia immensely as she is with family during our hospital stays and she has missed us as well. All of this is hard on her as well. She asks Heavenly Father to bless Archer in pretty much every prayer she gives and she has been so sweet to him, but you can tell that she is having a rough time with all of it. 

 

Strength in Numbers

The Falling of Many (Hairs)

Tomorrow starts Archer's second week of treatments and they said that he would start to lose his hair after this treatment. Following some advice from a dear friend, we decided to shave his head before all of his hair fell out on its own, in hopes to save some heartache. There were several people that wanted to support Archer in losing his hair by shaving their heads as well. Those that have shaved their heads so far are myself, grandpas Shayne and Neil, and uncles Bronson and Stephen. Uncles Spencer and Brett are going to join in as well and maybe Uncle Austin.

Since there were so many in Aubrey's family that wanted to
participate, we decided to do it all at the same time and have a head shaving party. Jennifer (Kendall) Jeppson came over and took family pictures before we lost all of our hair, and stayed to document the event. We got four sets of hair clippers and sat on the porch while our wives (Jennifer helped Steve) shaved our heads. We then took the clippers to Archer's head. It was quite a fun event and certainly helped to alleviate some of Aubrey's sorrow in having him lose his hair. Archer didn't like having his head shaved much but he sure does look cute! Thanks to all of those who are willing to look like snow globes to support Archer!

A Random Funny or Three

Here are a few quotes from our sweet little Kaesia over the last two days. As she sat on the toilet, she pointed her finger at Aubrey and said,

Mom, write this down. The days will go by. There is no reason to be sad. Because I'm right here. I love you so much that I didn't want candy besides... well... and also that we love our family very much all day long. And all day long we all say our names LOUD and we love our family and I love my brother and Santa likes to come by too and give me presents. Did you get all that? Did you write that down?"

Last night, Kaesia was showing my parents the "cool" way to hold up three fingers which, in case you didn't know, is holding up the pinky, ring finger and middle finger. Aubrey then told her that holding up her index finger, middle finger, and ring finger is actually more difficult. Kaesia then proceeded to correct her, "No, mom. This way is actually harder. For little kids. That is all I can do, mom. I can't do anything better than that."

After she finished drinking her cup of milk tonight, she walked over to Aubrey, handed her the empty cup and said, "I am officially done, Mom!" She is so adorable!

Home At Last

Back at Home

It has now been three days since Archer was discharged from the hospital and able to come home. As you can imagine, we were all excited when that time came but probably no one more than Archer. For the last few hours in the hospital, he told the nurses "bye" as soon as they entered the room. We're not sure if he was telling them to get out because he was going home or just telling them that he was getting outta there. Either way, he was more than content.

The whole time back at home has been great. Archer has been extremely talkative (probably even more than he was before going in) and he has been such a sweetheart. He hasn't cried for more than 10 minutes total in the last three days. He has been playing with all of the new toys that people have given him over the last week and he likes them a lot! Now the only thing missing is Kaesia!

Kaesia's Week of Fun

Kaesia has been having such a great time with her Aunt Jenny! Every night that we've called to talk to her, she will only talk to about a minute if we're lucky. She is having too much fun and doesn't want to talk to her boring old parents, I guess. As much as I would love to talk to her, it is nice to know that she is having fun and not missing home. Aubrey went down to get her today though and will be bringing her back home this evening. I am excited to see her!

Preparation and Support

In preparation for Archer losing his hair because of the chemo treatments, we are shaving his head tomorrow afternoon. Several other people, including myself and Aubrey are going to join him. If any of you would like to join in on the fun, feel free. And if you do, I will expect to see pictures on Facebook. I will be posting some before and after pictures in my next blog post so watch out for that one. Just make sure you put on your sunglasses before looking too closely at the pictures as our heads will be blinding white I'm sure. Now that you have read this far, I should probably let you know that Aubrey isn't really going to shave her head.

Love, Laughs and More Pizza

Support

First off, there has been an incredible amount of support that we have received, from monetary donations to gifts of snacks, blankets, stuffed animals, pillows, toys, activity books and games to meals and countless other things. Thank you all so much for your help through this. It is very much appreciated and extremely beneficial! Even knowing how many people are reading the blog, or at least telling me that they read it ;) and knowing how much people care about him and our family is definitely helping in the coping process. Your prayers and acts of services are definitely being felt!

Status Update

Archer handled his first chemotherapy treatment extremely well. He has been in a bit of pain from the port in his chest which has caused him to be a little bit cross but other than that, he has been outstanding! He has had an excellent appetite, though it is still just pizza and bananas that he wants. We are going to give the kitchen a heads up before we come next week so they can stock up on cheese and pepperoni. He has also had a pretty good amount of energy and has been awake most of the day. He loves playing with the blocks that the hospital brought him and he has plenty of other toys to keep him busy throughout the day. He is also getting a lot of fluid through his IV and his kidneys are working well to get all of the Cisplatin (chemo med) out of his body. In fact, he is doing so well that he will most likely be discharged tomorrow morning. 

The one minor concern that we had is that at 1:00 am this morning, he had to have a blood transfusion. They said that it is very common and almost expected when going through chemo, but there is always a risk with it. They performed the transfusion over a two hour period and they had to check his vital signs about every ten minutes. He slept through the entire transfusion, even with the nurses constantly in the room. Everything went well with the transfusion though and he didn't have any negative reaction to it at all. He truly is a tough kid and it is inspiring to see how well he has adapted to this new temporary lifestyle. 

One Quick Funny

The nurse came in last night to take his blood pressure and get his temperature and oxygen levels. She went to put the bp cuff on his leg, as they had been doing the entire time, when Archer said "no" and held up his right arm. The nurse complied with his request. She then went to put the pulse oximeter (just Googled that) on his toe, as was customary. Archer told her "no" and held up his left hand. She then went to place it on his index finger and he again denied the attempt, sticking his thumb up. The nurse again complied. She then went to place the thermometer under his right arm. As you can probably guess, Archer did not approve but instead revealed his let armpit, inviting the thermometer in. Everyone chuckled and the nurse casually said, "He is going to be one of those that as soon as I open the door, his toe and arm will shoot into the air." Well, by now, you know Archer. He launched one arm and one foot high into the air. He is so much like his mother.

Kaesia

Kaesia has been staying with Aubrey's sister, Jenny, since Tuesday and she is having a blast. So much fun that she barely wants to talk to us when we call her. She just wants to play. She did sing a sweet version of "Mommy Comes Back" to Aubrey before she left. The lyrics were "I will always come back..." and after finishing the song said, "But I will have fun! And you too." and touched Aubrey gently on the end of her nose. It was precious!